


Proud of You

by justanaveragefangirl



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Coming Out, Gay Panic, Internalized Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:20:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25845724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justanaveragefangirl/pseuds/justanaveragefangirl
Summary: Eddie comes out to Richie.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 36





	Proud of You

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: "I have to get something off my chest." "I hope it's your shirt, please let it be your shirt."

“Hey, Eds?” Richie asked, looking up from the same textbook page he’d been staring at for at least 10 minutes. The pair were at Richie’s house, supposedly revising together, but when were things ever that simple with Richie and Eddie?

“For the last time, don’t call me Eds, Richie! And don’t interrupt me whilst I’m trying to study!” It was at this point that Eddie looked towards Richie. “Which you’re also supposed to be doing. Why aren’t you studying Richie?” Eddie sounded quite angry over being called ‘Eds’. Strike one that something was off with Eddie; yes he got annoyed by the nickname, but he never got genuinely angry.

“Because I’m bored and nothing is going in!” Richie flopped back on the bed.

“Then why don’t we take a break? We’ve been at this for hours, already, anyway.” Strike two; he never willingly took a break from studying this close to an exam.

Eddie neatly marked where he was in his textbook, before closing it and pushing it away to the end of the bed. Then he was silent. Strike three.

“Eddie, what’s wrong? You’re not normally this quiet, or this quick to put down your textbook.” Whilst Richie was looking directly at Eddie, Eddie was looking anywhere but Richie. And if Richie hadn’t noticed before, he certainly would have then. He always enjoyed looking into Eddie’s eyes when they were talking.

Another moment of silence passed before Eddie spoke up.  **_“I have something to get off my chest.”_ **

**_“I hope it’s your shirt, please let it be your shirt.”_ ** Richie thought. Or at least, that’s what he believed he’d done. The look Eddie was giving him made him think otherwise.

“And what’s that, Eds?” Richie responded quickly, trying to move on from what he’d just said.

“I think.” Eddie took a deep breath. “I think I like boys, Richie. And I don’t know what to do about it! I mean, I’m seventeen, I know myself and what I like, but mommy says it’s wrong. That a boy liking a boy is sick! And I know it’s not, and I know a lot of the things she told me weren’t true, but it’s still hard to shake all those years, and…” By this point, Eddie’s voice had raised to near a shout, and he could barely get his words out, he was speaking so fast. And Richie knew Eddie wouldn’t be able to stop himself from this downwards spiral, so Richie would have to do it for him.

“Hey, Eds. Eds, listen to me.” Richie lightly gripped Eddie’s shoulders, to remind Eddie that he wasn’t alone if nothing else.

Eddie went quiet once more, although he was still struggling with looking Richie in the eye, not knowing how the other boy would react, to his confession or the rant which followed. Although, he wasn’t sure which was worse. Embarrassment and shame crept over him.

“I’m proud of you, Eddie, for telling me.” Eddie’s eyes shot upwards to lock with Richie’s. “And I know your mom has said a lot of things over the years, but she’s wrong. You’re not sick for liking boys, and you can’t help who you like. Alright?”

“Alright. I just feel stupid, you know? You and the losers all seem to have their lives figured out and are confident in themselves, and then there’s me. Seventeen and barely able to accept I like boys. Bill figured that out over two years ago, and he and Stan have been together for a year. Ben and Bev are happy together, and Mike is just waiting for the right person for him, but he’s okay with that. And then there’s you.”

“Eds, I still hide behind ‘your mom’ sex jokes despite having come out to you guys nearly three years ago, and I still can’t bring myself to come out to my parents. Stan sometimes goes out to birdwatch but ends up at my door in tears because he’s struggling with himself. And I’m sure if you ask any of the others, their lives wouldn’t be as perfect as they seem on the outside. How you feel isn’t stupid, okay? It’s normal. As is discovering your sexuality at seventeen.”  _ And hiding your feelings from your crush for three years. _

Eddie didn’t know when he’d started crying, but he had. Richie’s words had hit home and made him see things clearer than he had in a while. This was why he loved Richie, but he couldn’t admit that just yet. He wasn’t ready for that. So instead, he settled for lunging at the boy and wrapping him in a tight hug, as a way of saying thanks.

“You’re alright, Eds, you’re alright, I promise.” Richie kept whispering reassuring words in Eddie’s ear, having noticed the tears and how choked up he was, and they stayed that way for a while.

So maybe it wasn’t everything the pair wanted to say to each other, but it was a start. And for now, that was good enough.


End file.
